One of the greatest elements in a lasting marriage is companionship. Building companionship requires patience, time and often hard work. Companionship doesn't develop accidentally. We must be intentional. We live in a fallen world, controlled by the evil one. To have a Kingdom marriage, we must always be aware and guard our marriage as a precious possession. It is "a pearl of great price"! This is why it is so important to stay in the Lord God's constitution...His Word.
In the Kingdom of God, marriage is between a man and a woman. That has nothing to do with this fallen world. Two completely different "kingdoms" with different "kings". Remember that. The Lord God created woman from man. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. Keep in mind that He made a woman, not another man to be his companion. He made the woman to be his companion.
Now I am coming to you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you. I don’t want what you have—I want you. After all, children don’t provide for their parents. Rather, parents provide for their children. Although ambassador Paul was referring to the citizens of the Kingdom in the church at Corinth as his spiritual "children", the principle applies in family relations. Ambassador Paul pledged to the Corinthian church that he wouldn't be a burden to them when he visited. Keep in mind, in the same manner, parents shouldn't be a burden to their children. As the children are growing up in their parent's household, parents have the responsibility to support their children and do everything that they can to prepare the way for them to become mature, productive, independent adults. I must say that true independence works both ways: children are not dependent on their parents and parents are not dependent on their children.
Adjusting to married life is challenging enough without a couple feeling the pressure of guilt, customs or traditions to support their parents. That really isn't their responsibility, only if the couple both agree freely to that situation. It should never be forced upon them. At the same time, God's constitution clearly states that children do bear some responsibility for the welfare of their parents, particularly those who are widowed or who have no legitimate means of caring for themselves. Do you recall what the Lord Jesus stated while on the cross? Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother standing there beside the disciple He loved, He said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And He said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home. He made a point as the eldest son of His earthly family, to commit His mother into the care of John, His disciple and close friend. By the way, I took care of my mother in her last days on this earth, but wasn't married during that time.
Ambassador James speaks of Kingdom citizens' responsibility to "look after orphans and widows in their distress". But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. NLJV Notice that he said "pure and undefiled before God" religion took care of widows and orphans. In that day, orphans and widows represented the lowest and most powerless classes of society in that day. they were people who had no one to speak for them. Ambassador Paul made this statement: Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God...But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.
Priorities. It's about where you set your priorities. Never place parents or extended family above your spouse. They are your first priority, after God. Your husband or wife comes before your parent, but never abandon your responsibility to your parent, if they need you. Take care of them if needed, but after the needs of your spouse. Never allow a parent to influence you and come between you and your spouse. Wisdom and discernment will assist you in making right decisions in a Kingdom marriage.
Remember, your faith in the King is your greatest asset in the Kingdom.
Genesis 2:21-22 2 Corinthians 12:14 John 19:25-27
James 1:26-27 1 Timothy 5:3-4, 8
All NLT unless noted.
~~W.R. and Arlene Luchie
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