There is a lot of information written on marriage, but very little written on life after one's divorce or one's separation from a spouse. Well, allow me to share with you this information. The key to openness, the door to healing, and life after divorce, is forgiveness. You need to understand that clearly; however, forgiveness does not get rid of the hurt.
There is no psychiatrist, no psychologist, no counselor who can heal a broken heart. Only Jesus was anointed to heal the brokenhearted. But you have to make your heart available to Him. Forgiveness removes any walls between you and the Lord God. Forgiveness is vertical as well as horizontal. Hmmm! Let me say it the other way around: Unforgiveness toward a human being also blocks your fellowship with God your Creator. Remember what King Jesus stated: "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." Remember, first things first (forgive).
When I had a religious mindset, I had a serious problem forgiving my former spouse. But once I came into the knowledge of the truth, I began to understand what it meant to forgive. I heard it said many times "I'm only forgiving you because I am a Christian. I want to knock you out, but the Jesus in me won't allow me to." That isn't true forgiveness. Sometimes hurt turns into hate and then the devil is in the driver's seat. Always go to God's Constitution for the answers. Remember this statement: "Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath."
Take note of this; anger that has turned to hatred means you have judged someone else and are blaming them. When you begin to see them as the source of your problems, unforgiveness has gained hold on your heart. After I came into the knowledge of the Kingdom, I took full responsibility of the demise of my marriage.
King Jesus made this statement when speaking of forgiveness: “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."
Always remember, even with our spouse, we are to represent Kingdom culture.
Mark 11:26 Ephesians 4:26 Mark 11:25