Let's consider a man or woman in perfect physical shape-- they have less than 10% body fat, toned muscles and "washboard abs". Would anyone look at them and say they are "blessed"? They are blessed, but that blessing comes as a result of much work, sweat and commitment.
My dear husband and I entered into our marriage knowing what is needed to have a blessed marriage. Knowing that it takes commitment, discipline, time, honesty and a lot of love and understanding. God does not bless a mess! We are committed to each other and to our covenant with God. My husband loves me, considers my feelings, protects me, provides for our home and yes, he opens doors and treats me in a 'gentlemanly' manner. He is a gentleman and guards my heart.
My husband is a blessed man because I always treat him with respect. I show him love and affection. He is my number one priority after God. He is the "king of our castle"! I anticipate his needs, I am kind and caring to him. I enjoy being with him...there is no one I would rather spend my time with. I am his number one cheerleader. I support him in all he wants to do. I am his partner and help in any way I can as he builds our ministry. I accept him as he is and don't waste my time and energy trying to change him. God created us to be different and I celebrate his differences. I pray for him daily. So yes, he is also a blessed man.
If I disrespected him, criticized him out in public, nagged him, put my own wants and plans first and didn't allow him to lead our home, I doubt if --in time--I would be as blessed and well-treated as I am. A great marriage is a "circle of blessings". If your husband doesn't treat you as you wish he would, change the way you are treating him and in time he will begin to change. Read Ephesians 5 and Proverbs 31. They show traits of a godly wife. People dismiss those traits as antiquated and impractical today. But if God's Word is Truth and Unchanging, shouldn't the godly attributes of a wife be applicable today also?
Also, there is no room for selfishness in a marriage. If your favorite line is "what about me?" stay single.
A great marriage is intentional. It doesn't just happen... no one waves a magic wand and creates one. I am learning that marriage is what you and your spouse make it. I have heard this saying before and it also fits marriage:
The rewards are well worth the effort!
~~ Be blessed, Arlene