Back in our parents' and grandparents' day, having an affair took much more thought and effort than today. They only had a house phone that their spouse or children could answer at any time. The phone was attached to the wall so they couldn't run outside to talk privately. They didn't have cell phones, IM, various video chat apps, email, internet, Facebook and other assorted social networks and dating sites. There are even websites to hook up with others who are looking to have an affair! Whatever you desire, is most likely on the internet. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
I believe destroying a family and breaking a marriage covenant is a great victory for Satan. Satan rules in darkness, which is ignorance. If we are enlightened--have knowledge--in an area, he has no power there! Sticking your head in the sand and saying that could never happen to us is ignorance. If your head is buried in the sand, another part of your anatomy is exposed and you are likely to get knocked off your feet!
In today's "free" society staying faithful to the one we love must be intentional. It is naïve to say we--or our spouse--could never be tempted. We all have seen far too many great men and women of faith give in to their desires even though they had far more to lose than we do. They were deceived into believing their sin would never be exposed. That game is fixed and Satan always wins. Yet people play this game everyday, thinking they are the ones who won't get caught!
This isn't about controlling your spouse or becoming a private detective! Not at all. This is about a husband and wife being a united front, agreeing on a plan to never allow a hole in the spiritual wall that surrounds their Kingdom marriage and family and that they will both guard their marriage diligently. Always remember, it is the children Satan is after in a family. Here are some suggestions to use in your plan to remove Satan's power from your marriage:
1. Be an open book! If there are no lies, if nothing is done in secret, you have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. If you are truly "one" why would you keep secrets?
2. Cell phones: Each of you should be free to answer the other's phone calls and texts. When you are home, set your phone down on a nearby table. When it rings or you receive a text, if your spouse is nearby, ask them to get it for you. This builds trust also!
3. Passwords: Exchange user names and passwords for your emails and Facebook accounts. You should have freedom on each other's accounts without fearing what they will find! Again, it's not about snooping! It's about being open with each other.
4. Facebook and social media: Facebook affairs are notorious. When a couple is going through difficult days, the flattery and attention of a "Facebook friend" of the opposite sex can tempt you to say and do what you would never do when your marriage is going smoothly. Share user names and passwords with your spouse. Better yet, if agreeable to you both, have one page together as a couple.
5. IM, WhatsApp, Facetime, etc: If you use it to communicate with close friends and family, then keep it only available to those few people. When I got married, I uninstalled my messenger software. I used it while I was dating and didn't want any old "flames" contacting me after I married. We really didn't need to IM!
6. One simple rule to remember: Always imagine your spouse is sitting with you, watching whatever you are doing on your cell phone or computer. If you wouldn't want them to see/hear it, don't do it!
The battle truly is in the mind! Be enlightened and don't make your mind the devil's playground.
What is more important than your spouse and children? Secrets? Innocent flirtations? Brief moments of excitement? Live a life that is above reproach. Be guided by God's Word and protect those who are most precious to you.
I will end with this most relevant passage from 1st Corinthians:
I don’t want you to forget, dear brothers and sisters, about our ancestors in the wilderness long ago. All of them were guided by a cloud that moved ahead of them, and all of them walked through the sea on dry ground. In the cloud and in the sea, all of them were baptized as followers of Moses. All of them ate the same spiritual food, and all of them drank the same spiritual water. For they drank from the spiritual rock that traveled with them, and that rock was Christ. Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.
These things happened as a warning to us, so that we would not crave evil things as they did, or worship idols as some of them did. As the Scriptures say, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.” And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day.
Nor should we put Christ to the test, as some of them did and then died from snakebites. And don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death. These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.
If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:1-13 NLT
Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might!
All scriptures are NLT unless otherwise noted.
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